Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Laughing and Peeing at the Same Time

When I was younger my parents decided to put me on a girls softball team.
It (read: I) was terrible.

In retrospect, it would have been a better idea to put me in dance. I could not hit the ball worth a damn; I would always "walk" to first base; the coach put me in the outfield (where no one would hit the ball, because we were all 11 years old); and I was weird so no one liked me.

One of the fat chicks on the team, who at the time had a Pierce Brosnan hair cut, invited everyone on the team to her house for a sleepover. Yay fun!

When we got there, we were told to put all our sleeping bags, pillows, and over-night stuff down in the basement. After a few hours of pop and chips one of the girls (who was also in my class at school and quite popular) thought we should play charades.
"Yesyesyesyesyesyes!", chanted everyone.

There were the rules:
(1) Everyone got a piece of paper and wrote a word of their choice on it
(2) Everyone put their piece into a bucket
(3) Once you picked your word, you could not pick another.
(4) No talking!

When everyone was writing down their word, I was like:
"Wouldn't it be weird if someone wrote a word like 'freak of nature'? How would you act that out?". I proceeded to laugh. I was quite hilarious. What a funny observation.

No one else laughed. "Cricket. Cricket. Yeeaaaaa..........."
So we continued to play charades.

We went around in a circle picking words out of the bucket. Everyone was having a great time. The mood had gotten much more hyper (I think the sugar from the pop eventually got into everyone's blood stream).
Finally! It was my turn.
I picked my word out of the bucket and opened it eagerly.

OMG. I got "Freak of Nature" (which I had written down). I laughed. Loudly. Then softly. I had to hold it in so that I could act this out.
I gave it my best shot:
I started compulsively shaking my body and hitting my hand to my chest (as if I were "mentally retarded". * No offence to anyone who actually has or knows someone with mental disabilities*).

Uh Oh. I began to laugh again.
The popular girl spoke up in a monotone and not-very-impressed voice, "Freak of nature?".

I couldn't contain myself. I laughed so so so hard. The pop (read: "soda", if you're from America) from earlier was too much. I began to pee. First a little, then alot. There was no stopping it.

Once it started, my laughing stopped. My eyes widened and I quickly turned to go back inside the house. As soon as I turned, the other girls knew what was up.

"EWWWWW", said one of them.
"Omg, did you actually just pee?", said another.

Super embarrassing. I will never forget it.
Moral of the Story: Don't let you're kids develop a very selective sense-of-humour. It will only lead to peed pants at a sleepover.

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